"Of Course!"

As I left my papa two days before he passed, he was oddly alert. It was hard to wrap my brain around because I knew he would soon be leaving us, but 2 days before, he had his last hoo-ra. A bunch of sweet family and friends came to visit him and he knew all of them by name and asked how they were doing. When I left I bent down to kiss him and told him I loved him, but he seemed a little off. My papa ALWAYS kissed ME on the cheek before I left. So I looked at him and said, "You're gonna kiss me on the cheek aren't you?". His face lit up (like it always did when he saw me), and he responded "OF COURSE!". These were the last words he said to me and I thank God so much for that being one of my last memories of him.

My Nana and Papa got married very young. She was 17 and he was 22, I believe. They had my father and my Aunt Kim very close together. They weren't super well off, but they made it. My Papa worked for everything he ever had. He was raised by his grandparents and had since been a hard working man. He served around 20 years in the military and after that worked in the paper mill in Covington. My father said he was brilliant at what he did. He would constantly be called to different centers to trouble-shoot and could always figure out the problem and how to fix it. Another fun fact that I loved to hear was that my papa is actually on the patent for the Westvaco version of the cardboard milk carton.

I was/am my Nana and Papa's only grandchild, and heck you sure can tell, from my name on their license plate to my face covering the walls of their home. My papa really loved me. He loved me more than I could ever deserve, more than anyone deserves. I remember trying not to tell him if I ever had a headache or stomach-ache because he would get so distraught over me being in pain. I could pretty much get away with anything when I was with him.

I have so many fond memories of my sweet little man. I remember playing t-ball in their old backyard and collecting all the pebbles surrounding their home. I remember sitting on his lap when I was little and smacking his stomach bc it was big and looked like I drum (I really got away with everything). I remember playing school with him in their new house. I would always give him a Z on his homework…not an F but a Z. He would always tell me that was impossible but laughed anyways because you guessed it, he really loved me. My late childhood/early teenage years are filled with remembering a man dedicated to coming to all of my dance recitals/competitions/performances. For those of you with family members that dance, you understand how trying and sometimes painful sitting through this can be. Lately, I just remember visiting him and listening to his always adorable comments. He could be so cute and grumpy at the same time which blew my mind. He loved Spencer. The second Spencer came into my life, he started asking if we could go on double dates. We went on two but what I would give to have gone on more.

What has been amazing through all of this is what Papa has shown me through his passing. I have learned more about him than I ever knew. My Papa was a simple, strong, and humble man. He planned his passing, funeral, and life all to take care of his wife and family. He didn't want visitation, he didn't want his casket to be open. He wanted to make everything as easy as possible and not inconvenience anyone. Dad had this theory that he would wait on everyone to leave the hospital to pass, because he did not want to upset anyone with that image. And he did just that. He's just a superstar in my opinion. Although he was sassy and grumpy sometimes, his heart and motives so greatly modeled that of Christ's.

I could go on for days. I have never dealt with someone so close to me passing before and oddly enough I've handled it very well. I've had such a huge feeling of peace over me this whole time. I think that's God's way of telling me everything is all right. I bet they're having a blast up there.

But do I miss and love that man beyond words? Of Course <3