This Season

My roommates used to make fun of me all the time. Not only because I'm a complete and utter goober, but because in every second of free time I have, it seems like I look back at old pictures. I know it seems really lame, but I'll tell you why I'm so caught up in these images. I'm known among my friends and family for taking lots of pictures because I seriously adore capturing moments, and not even moments, but also seasons of life.

See, I've always sectioned parts of my life off into seasons. For example, there was the season where I had to get my heart fixed. There was the season where I graduated high school and missed dancing. There were many seasons throughout my undergraduate career at Virginia Tech that revolved around concerts, visiting friends, and spending time with students. When I look back at pictures taken, I swear I can feel those seasons again. I feel the air, smell the smells, remember the food I ate, the friends I hung out with, the clothes I wore, and what music was on repeat. 

This past year and 4 months has been the season that we have been engaged. Although that's my favorite part about this season, so many other things have happened. Lately, I feel like I've looked at this season negatively, simply because of the desire to be married and the lack of time to breathe. Yet somehow I know, it's probably been the most beautiful season yet. So in this post (don't make fun of me roomies) I'm going to go through some of the pictures from this past season of life and pull out some of my favorite moments. 

1. Lindsay's bachelorette party

In March, I attended my first bachelorette party as a bridesmaid for my future sister-in-law Lindsay. Not only did we get to spend a weekend in the most stunning home overlooking the Blue Ridge Mountains, go flatfooting, learn how to write calligraphy, and taste delicious wines, but I also got to spend the weekend growing closer with Lou and her friends. My sister-in-law is hilarious and has the biggest heart, and her friends reflect that. Many moments in this season have included her. 

2. Graduation 

In May, I walked in my graduation ceremony, although I had technically graduated the previous December. Virginia Tech gave me the most amazing 4 years of my life so far. I grew closer with this gal, Spencer, and numerous other friends I wouldn't have known if it wasn't for this amazing place. I've gotten to stay here for my Masters year, but it just hasn't been the same since everyone left. I'm ready to move on to Roanoke, but Blacksburg (and it's food) will always be one of my homes.

3. Nashvegas 

In May, my parents took us to Nashville for a graduation trip and it was one of my favorite trips to date with this man. I had no idea Nashville would win me over but who am I kidding, all I really need in life is good music and good food. Nashville has got that covered. Can't wait for more trips with this man and my awesome rents! 

4. Grad school begins 

The last week of May, I started graduate school to get my Masters in Elementary Education. The summer was kind of glorious, as Blacksburg in the summer is empty and wonderful and I got iced coffee every morning on my walk to class. This summer was was hard because the previous summer I did CHWC staff. It was also hard because an incredible man was taken to be with the Lord in June. I still know, though, that it had to happen in order to get me here. I only have about 1 month left of college (EVER) and this beautiful place and program has given me everything I could ever need to succeed.

5. Lindsay gets married!!!

This was the best weekend. Lindsay got married to Nicholas on June 11 and everything was glorious. The venue was glorious, the people were glorious, the band that performed at the reception (#TBC) was glorious, but the smiles on their faces by far stole the show. I feel so honored to get to watch this couple grow in love. Don't be surprised if there's another post on here that revolves around them...

6. CHWC peeps visit
I've met some wonderful people in my life through CHWC. I was on staff the summer of 2015 but couldn't do it again because of my graduate program. So many of my loves came to camp in Roanoke in July and I got to spend a whole week with them. I even got to show one of my best friends, Mathias, around this place that I love so much. You know I love people when I'm willing to hike Mcafee's Knob in 96 degree weather!

7. Michael and Abby get engaged!
We had the honor of watching this relationship bloom in college. Mike and Babs were made for each other and it's easy to see. We got to be a part of their proposal this summer in August. By that I mean, we hid in the bushes, I sobbed like a baby, and Spencer took pictures. I have never experienced something so special as watching Mike propose to Abby. Their love is unlike any other and we cannot wait to keep celebrating them this following season!

8. Ocean Isle Beach
Spin and I got to go to the beach with my family and stay at our cousin's perfect, magnificent, wonderful, marvelous beach house. I live for the beach. This trip we took two cars, so Spin and I got to go explore the island some on our own. This included celebrating our 6 year anniversary with a chocolate bomb, which was obviously bomb.

9. BABY PEANUT
The most wonderful part of this season, by far, has been the fact that we are expecting a NIECE. I cannot wait to get to love on this little nugget in June. Lindsay and Nick are going to be the most wonderful parents. Watching Spencer anticipate this little nug has been the sweetest thing ever. Babies are the biggest blessings!

10. We start renting our first place!
In January, we moved Spencer into our first place. I am only slightly jealous that he gets to live here for months without me. I am so insanely overjoyed to finally have a place with this man. You can probably tell that by the numerous Insta stories that have been solely dedicated to video taping what our living room looks like.

This post ended up being way longer than I intended, but I think it's because I failed to recognize the beauty in this season. In between all of these moments, my world has consisted of work, lesson planning, wedding planning, job searching, and just trying to stay afloat. But oh this season, how wonderful it has been. We are coming to the final stages in planning which means bridal showers,  bachelorette parties, and lots of details. I'm currently job searching and praying for lots of clarity. Peanut, our niece, will be here in June and we cannot wait to celebrate her in the meantime. I think in the business of life we forget to stop and appreciate where we are. Where I am right now may be the most hectic season, but it is also the most beautiful one.

Ecclesiastes 3:2-8

The Proposal

October 23, 2015 was the best day!

I'm going to try my absolute hardest to explain the magic that was Friday. I got engaged to the love of my life and best friend :)

On Friday, I told Spencer I really wanted to go to Pandapas Pond and hammock! We went to get my car inspected and drove to the pond that was only 10 minutes away. We fought against the bugs that were flocking around Spencer's good smelling hair and found a perfect place to hammock. We stayed for only about an hour as the bugs did not go away and I was super hungry...per usual. We got subs at Firehouse afterwards and then went back to my place for a little bit. Spencer was adamant about leaving to go get my car inspected and I couldn't figure out why...we had plenty of time before out commitment at Sinkland Farms later. I could tell that he wanted to leave, though, so we went to get my car.

On the drive to Sinkland, I couldn't help but think of what an amazing day it had been. Spencer and I did something adventurous, which we strive to do but it rarely happens. We had spent a ton of time together and we only had one car, which kind of made me feel like I was married to him. I had to rely on him all day to get me places and it wasn't really an option to leave each other and do our own thing. It felt good, really good. I had gotten butterflies in my stomach a few times already that day and I had no idea what was about to happen.

To make this day even better, we were going to Sinkland farms for a party with Spencer's family. We were arriving earlier than everyone else to help set up tables and chairs. We pulled up to the building that the party was supposed to be in and I realized they hadn't cleared the space. Going into problem-solving mode, I immediately started trying to figure out if we were in the wrong building, or if the people who worked there had forgotten about the party. Spencer just took my hand and kept walking. I continued freaking out until he finally said, "Maria, let's just walk. There isn't a party."

This is when I figured it out. My heart dropped, I became pale, and started to cry. Spencer then proceeded to take my hand and walk with me for probably half a mile. He started by saying "We've been together for 5 years, 2 months, and 1 day now." He then proceeded to talk about asking my dad, how he wouldn't want to be with anyone else, and how he wanted to always keep God at the center of our relationship. He said many many more things that I honestly don't remember all that well.

We finally got down to the bottom of the hill and he proposed. It was perfect.

We then took some pictures with our friend Nathan who had been hiding in the bushes in head to toe camouflage for probably close to an hour (thanks for being amazing). Then we headed back to my apartment where my amazing roommate Caylin had planned for my closest family members and friends to be gathered.

I love how the wonderful day with my boyfriend turned into the day he became so much more. October 23, 2015 was the day that I committed to a life with this man. It was a day that I will always remember.

The Lord has been so good to us. I have a piece of his love in the tangible form of Spencer here on this Earth and I get to love him forever. What an absolute blessing. We are so thankful that Jesus sent his son to die for us so that we may know this type of love with one another.

Every good and perfect gift is from above. James 1:17

Slow Dancing

Life is up in the air right now more so than ever. College is ending and myself and everyone around me are all trying to figure out how to be a proper adult. Do we go to graduate school? Do we take a gap year? Do we get a "real" job? What does a real job even look like? And how on Earth are we supposed to pay for everything?

It's times like these that I need to calm down. I need to get back to what is really important in life and trust that everything is going to work out fine. It's times like these that I'm thankful for Spencer and this quirky little thing he likes to do that points me to a bigger picture.

We slow dance.

Whenever I have a day overcome with worry, Spencer can easily see it in my eyes if I haven't already expressed it verbally. He will make me stop whatever I'm doing, pick me up off the couch, and slow dance with me. Now, I'm not talking beautiful ballroom slow dancing; this is more like a swaying hug that might have occurred at a middle school dance. But it is perfect (and way better than middle school).

It's times like these that I am overwhelmed by the tangible piece of God's love that I have standing right in front of me. True love is kind of cool like that. It gives you a little window into the glory of heaven. I can't even imagine something more wonderful than Spencer's love and companionship, but the grace of the Lord makes even that look like nothing. Psalm 46: 10 says "Be still and know that I am God." Now, I guess our slow swaying hug isn't technically staying still, but this reminds me of what the Lord tells us to do. He says to stop what we are doing, throw all our worries away, and be still. Be still and bask in his presence. Be still and lay in his arms. Stop our mind for one second and let it empty of anxiety and be filled with His truth. HE HAS GOT THIS. He always has and always will.

So I find myself at an odd position. I kind of feel like I should be freaking out more; I feel like my mind should be filled with anxiety and worry, but I'm fine. I'm fine because I'm at peace. I'm fine because I know that He has something so massively wonderful in store for me. I'm fine because I'm slowly learning how to be still and know that He is God and He is good. He takes my hand in the dance and leads me slowly to His kingdom. That's all I need.

P.S: Thank you Spencer for showing Jesus to me everyday. You're the most perfect balance in this imbalanced world.

The One About CHWC

I'm doing it. It's been over a week since I left, but I'm finally sitting down to write about my experience with Catholic Heart Work Camp. I served with CHWC for 4 weeks and it has done wonders for my heart. I am full, in a way I never have been before. I am focused on the heart of Christ. I am beyond amazed by the Lord. And I am ecstatic to get the chance to live in Him for the rest of my life.

CHWC has changed me once before, no, more like 7 times before. It has the ability to make you rethink everything, look at priorities, and bond with amazing servants of Christ. This changed me when I did it for one week each summer, so you can imagine what 5 weeks in this atmosphere did to me.

My favorite thing about being on staff was how much we focused on Christ and prayer. No decision was made without consulting Him. No skit or talk was given without prayer. Centering our lives on Jesus made such an exhausting job possible and worth it. Focusing on our purpose to love Him and show Him to campers, residents, and cities, kept me grounded on even the roughest of days. My life is forever changed by this. Everything works out with Jesus in mind. No disaster is truly the end of the world, no mistake ruins the camp, no issue cannot be solved. Jesus has a plan and it's great and works out way better than anything my minuscule mind can come up with.

Not only did I learn to consult Jesus every second of every day, but I also learned to be patient when things didn't go as I planned. Patience is a virtue, a very difficult virtue that is almost impossible to master. But thanks to the Lord's trusting plan and beautiful disciples He surrounded me with, I was able to become a little more patient, at least I think. If you remember, at the start of this whole experience I blogged about being stuck on a standstill plane for 2 hours on my way to Orlando and having absolutely no control over the situation. Jesus taught me about patience from the start of my trip and every single day He continued to do so.

I could never begin to describe every single thing I learned on this trip, but I think this about sums up the gist of it. Rely on Jesus and be patient while you're waiting. You've heard this a million times before, but take it to the extreme. I mean really rely on Him, really be patient in your waiting. Nothing is a coincidence, everything is meant to point you to His beautiful plan for you. Jesus wants to be with you. He wants to romance you every single day, which is one of the most incredible things in the world. The ruler, creator of the world seeks you, as if you were His only child. Ahhhh, amazing.

Thank you Jesus for this beautiful experience and for CHWC. I pray that it is your plan for me to continue serving with them in years to come. Thank you for the beautiful brothers and sisters in Christ that you planted in my life on Team 7bAe; words can't describe how seeing their hearts helped me to see yours as well. And thank you for the gift of your son, so that all of this is even possible. Your majesty, grace, and love overwhelm me; I love you <3

Thoughts I Had on a Stand-Still Plane

As I sit on a stand still plane waiting to take off (thanks Orlando thunderstorms), I figured I would write my first blog post of the summer. I’m going to try to do at least one post every week reflecting on what I learned that week about others, my God, and myself. Hopefully, you’ll stick along and join me in this exciting time in my life!

These past few weeks have been incredibly hectic for me. I was driving back and forth at least 3 times a week to teach dance in Blacksburg while trying to prepare for CHWC. I stayed all last weekend in Blacksburg preparing for recital with 9 ½ hour rehearsals and two show days. I wouldn’t change my life for the world, though,  in fact, although this week was hectic, it was one of the most rewarding weeks. I got to see all of my students take the stage and take the stage myself for the first time in almost 3 years (dancing still makes me whole).

I got stressed, though. Real stressed. I felt like I had no time to fully prepare myself for CHWC whether it be physically, mentally, or spiritually. But of course, I am surrounded by lovely amazing people who helped me stay level headed.

Thanks to my friends who went out of their way to come see me this week or contact me to wish me good luck. Thanks to Spencer, who brought me back down to Earth every time I got way more stressed than I should have (miss you already). And thanks to my parents, who actively loved me like they always do by packing, shopping, and helping me do everything possible to get ready; Ya’ll are my rock and best friends!

I’m already learning so much. I’ve now been on a stand still plane for 2 hours now (without food) and I think I’m already learning what this summer is about. Trusting in Jesus and his plan. This sucks, honestly it does. One of the most exciting days of my life and I’m sitting still with no idea as to when I’ll be with the rest of my team. But I have no control and know that his plan is greater than mine.

Things will happen this summer that are 100% out of my control, much like this, and I’m going to do my best to remain optimistic in the midst of those situations. Who knows why I’m not in the air right now, but I know it’s for a reason, even if it is just to teach me patience and trust for the next 5 weeks to come.

I’m still ecstatic beyond belief, though. I think arriving in Orlando will be even more exciting for me now as I’ve waited longer than expected for it. I just wish I wasn’t missing out on unlimited ice cream as I’ve heard is being served…

So, bring it on Lord. I’m ready for all that you have to teach me this summer. Even if it sometimes feels like I’m sitting on a stand still plane with no ETA in sight.

PS: I ordered chex mix and a coke on the plane and the flight attendant didn't make me pay. She's an angel face! :P

On Leaving HAE ):

Yesterday, I left HAE after an amazing year of interning. Of course, my children were the sweetest nuggets ever and gave me a huge stack of cards. Here are some of my favorite quotes from them :)

"Thank you for always hugging me in class. You always made me feel special!"
"Ms. Miller you have always been there for me and I will always be there for you."
"I am sorry you have to go, but you have been a good friend."
"I think you could be a real teacher someday."

Ugh, my heart. Instead of attempting to tell you everything that I've learned this year (which would be entirely impossible), I want to focus on the way it feels to be loved by a child, and at that, 42 of them.

I always laughed when my elementary teachers would look at my messed up art projects and say "Oh Maria, your parents will love whatever you give them because you made it!" Guys, this is so incredibly true. Yesterday, I received a ton of scribbled drawings, letters with misspelled words covering them, and even a duct tape bracelet. And my heart is SO FULL.

The fact that these kids took the time to make things for me completely overwhelms me. The fact that so many of them would not let go of me yesterday and kept telling me they were going to cry and would miss me so much completely overwhelms me. The fact that some shy kids, who I barely even knew recognized that I was in their classroom, wrote me the sweetest notes yesterday completely overwhelms me. That fact that I, little old me, made an impact in the lives of 42 children completely overwhelms me.

I poured so much time into these kids this year. I lost sleep over so many of them and came home worrying that the love I gave them would be all they may receive that day. And they noticed that. They knew that I adored them to the core and they knew that I had tried to be the most helpful, kind, loving student teacher they ever had.

It worked, it really truly worked. I made a mark on their hearts but oh how they have no idea what they have done to mine. I am so truly thankful that Christ has led me to teaching. I could not imagine doing anything else for the rest of my life. I am so thankful that He showed so much of himself to me through 42 little bodies this year. I cannot wait to have my own classroom where this impact can be multiplied even more!

My message to you today is to go spend time with a child. If you have never been impacted by a little one, I'm telling you, you are missing out. They will fill your heart and soul with so much love and happiness that you had forgotten existed in our world. They will show you the love of Christ in the most earthly fashion you may ever experience.

A lot of people lately have been questioning me on how I could ever tolerate working with children. This is honestly the strangest comment! I think of these kids, their smiles, their energy, their want to love and be loved, and I come to one conclusion...How could you tolerate working with adults? ;)

Things I'm Thankful For-March 2015

1. A wonderful man who is passionate about music and me
2. His wonderful sister who has invited me to stand beside her on her big day
3. Successful procedures that remind me to trust Christ and appreciate those I love
4. Really REALLY good burgers
5. The fact that my curls have finally decided to cooperate after 20 years of frustration
6. The chance for new beginnings and positive change
7. My parents...my parents...my parents (they are EVERYTHING)
8. A cousin who consistently calls while late night grocery shopping
9. The Avett Brothers and their humble honest music
10. The chance to, once again, see Christ's love through the eyes of children
11. CHWC and the idea that I get to travel the country this summer with some amazing people
12. Virginia Tech...because I've been away 4 days and already miss it
13. My awesome roommate and best friend who always has time for late night snacks and giggles
14. Really flowy clothes that feel like pjs and the fact that I can wear toms again
15. And finally, the opportunity to love everyone I come in contact with

Please let me know if you enjoyed this post, I don't count my blessings nearly enough <3